


Metamorphosis

by Harukawa



Series: Nothing Lasts Forever [2]
Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 07:13:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3682881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukawa/pseuds/Harukawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some changes one shouldn't try to hide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metamorphosis

Time was a funny thing. It had an odd way of sneaking up on you; changes taking place before you ever really realise they’re happening, interests developing into something more obsessive, dangerous. And he should know that, shouldn’t he? Because wasn’t his purpose to manipulate time?  


He should have noticed the hints sooner, should have taken some sort of action to prevent the changes taking place within him. It was too late now, wasn’t it? It wasn’t simply a _goal_ to return to the past now, but an absolute _necessity._ It wasn’t _safe,_ like he’d promised himself, promised _Arc,_ it would be.

He wasn’t even himself any longer...

Was he?

>   
>  **|** _The first change was his attitude._ **|**   
> 

“...Hey, Time.” Arc quietly, carefully opens the door to his room, closing it once more behind him as he makes his way to Time’s side. “...Are you still at it?”  


“Mm.” He doesn’t bother with a formal reply. **(** _Of course I’m still at it. It’s not **finished.** I **have** to keep at it._ **)**  


“...Shouldn’t you take a break?” Arc suggests. **(** _A **break?** I don’t have the time **or** the luxury for that._ **)** “You’ve been going for almost the entire day now.”  


“...I’ll keep going.” he mutters in response. “I’m not tired yet.”  


“...Time, I really think you should--”  


“I said I’m _fine,_ didn’t I?” **(** _Shut **up.** You don’t understand. I have to get this right. Everything has to be right, it has to be absolutely perfect. I can’t afford to listen to your nagging, I have to _**_focus._ )**  


He almost jumps when Arc grabs his arm, trying to jerk himself away. “ _Time.”_ Arc isn’t having any of it, keeping an insistent grip. “ _Look_ at yourself, Time. You haven’t slept in _days._ You look _terrible,_ you aren’t even acting like yourself!You’re running yourself absolutely ragged, just _drop it_ for now! I’m not going to just sit here and _watch_ you lose yourself to this!”

He opens his mouth to argue, closes it, blinks several times. **(** _...He’s right. He’s right, I can’t just... What’s gotten into me?_ **)** “...Sorry, Arc.” he eventually mumbles, finally focusing his attention on the other. “I’ll... I’ll take a break.”

A look of relief crosses Arc’s face. “...Good.” Arc tugs on his arm, prompting him to stand. “...Come on. I haven’t gotten to spend any time with you lately. ...I’ve missed you.”

**(** _I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t ignore you anymore. I can’t let myself forget how important you are._ **)**

>   
>  **|** _The second change was his eye._ **|**   
> 

He’s not sure how he hadn’t noticed, how he hadn’t seen this coming at all. Had it been a sudden change? Had it been gradual? He would have noticed, right? **(** _That’s not possible. This shouldn’t be possible. Why is this--?_ **)**

He stares at his own reflection, one hand reaching up to gingerly touch his eye. His eye that was now a deep, corrupt, disgusting  _black_. His mind briefly flashes to thoughts of Esper, of his twisted, _insane_ alternate who claimed Time himself would end up just like him eventually. His eye... it looked like _Esper’s_ eyes. He couldn’t let that happen, couldn’t let himself fail, couldn’t let himself fall that far.

**(** _...Reckless. I’ve been too reckless. I can still fix this, I can still fix it. It’s not too late, I can still..._ **)**

He covers his eye with his hand, refusing to look at it any longer. **(** _...Arc. I can’t let Arc see. I can’t let him_ ** _know._ ) **

He resolves to keep it hidden under an eye-patch, lies to Arc and insists he simply injured himself.

He tells himself he won’t end up like Esper, that he’ll fix things. He tells himself things can still change, that _**that** _ doesn’t have to be his future.

He tells himself it will heal, it _has_ to heal.

It only gets worse.

>   
>  **|** _The last change was..._ **|**   
> 

“...Time, are you sure your eye is alright?” Arc is bothering him again. Day after day after day Arc was always _bothering_ him. “It still hasn’t healed?”  


“It’s _fine.”_ he mutters in response, a brief flicker of panic surging through him. **(** _Stop asking about it stop asking about it all you ever do is ask about it just_ ** _stop it._ )**  


“...Time.” He hears Arc sigh, does his best to ignore the other and focus his attention on the data displayed on his console. “...Sorry, Time. I just want a quick look. You’ve never even let me...”  


It happens in an instant. One moment Arc is blathering on about _something_ again, and the next... His eye-patch is ripped away, the truth he’d so desperately tried to keep hidden displayed plain as day.

“...Time..?” Arc simply stares at him for what feels like an eternity, expression somewhere between disappointment and fear. **(** _Don’t do that. Don’t look at me like that._ **)** “...Time, what... How long have you..?”

“ _Don’t look at me_.” He hurriedly orders, quickly bringing one hand up to cover his eye. **(** _He saw. He saw he saw he saw he saw he saw_ **)**  


“Time!” Anger. Arc is mad at him. “You _hid_ this?! You’ve been _lying_ to me about it?! What _else_ are you hiding from me?! How far have you--” Arc reaches out and seizes his arm, attempting to pull it away from his face, to expose his eye once more.  


“ _ **Don’t look at me!**_ ” his voice degrades into an animalistic snarl as he violently shoves Arc away from himself. “It’s not your business! I’m fine! I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine!” **(** _You weren’t supposed to see it wasn’t your business you were never supposed to know stop **looking** at me like that it’s not my fault it’s not my fault you weren’t supposed to know_ **)**  


“You’re still insisting you’re _fine_?!” Arc is yelling at him again. Angrier. “Look at yourself! And you _hid_ it! Why didn’t you _tell_ me?!” A brief pause, and Arc’s next words are quiet. “...Why didn’t you let me help you?”  


“I don’t need your help.” he insists. Arc visibly flinches. “I can fix it myself. I can fix it, I can still fix it, I just need _time_ but I can still fix it.”   


“...No.” Arc shakes his head. **(** _He’s crying. Why is he crying?_ **)**  “... _Listen_ to yourself, Time! You’re starting to sound just like _him!”_  


He flinches, taking a step back _. “_ I’m **_not!_** ” He denies it, clutches at his head. “I’m not like that... _**I’m not like him!**_ ”  **(** _I’m not like that I’m not going to turn into that I can’t let that happen things can still change I can still fix things stop looking at me like that stop looking at me like I’m some kind of monster stop it stop it stop it stop itstopitstopitstopitstopitstopiticanfixthisjustletmefixitdon’tlookatmelikethatstopitstopit_ ** _stopit_ )**  


Arc is talking to him again. Arc is talking but he can’t hear, doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter what Arc has to say, because Arc can’t help him, _won’t_ help him. Arc just keeps asking him _why_ and it makes the sick, twisting sensation of _dread_ in his gut that much worse every time.

He doesn’t need Arc.

Arc isn’t important.

He can fix things himself.

He has to.

>   
>  **|** _The last change was his sanity._ **|**   
> 


End file.
